i've been doing alot of thinking lately.
okay lah not ALOT of thinking..
oh wait wait before you go on reading this, PLEASE PLEASE be reminded that this is one of EMOTIONAL periods. nothing has happened yet, it's just my feelings okay?
so bear with me for a moment, or you can just choose to shut this window (:

yeahh as mentioned earlier, i've been having my own quiet times, usually before i turn in to bed.
and yesterday, i spent my night crying.
looking at few days back, this question popped in my head, "Are you actually the one?"
i don't know..
not that i am trying to say that i'm on the wrong tracks now.
but it seems that lately, i'm not feeling good.
not feeling great about us. it's like something is missing, or something is lacking recently.
yeah, we spent our times together and etc. but there's just that one little something that just spoils the whole mood.
once again, i don't know..
thousand ond one questions running through my mind right now..
WHY? IS IT? and so forth.
currently i'm on the IGNOREHIM status.
i just want my quiet time alone, i want to be behind the scene and see how far i've actually side track.

yesterday's conversation with farhana didn't bring me any good during the night either.
i just felt super worse.
i was feeling a little okay when i was talking to her, but when i logged off, i felt worse again ):
and now, i'm not in the mood to talk to anybody.
sorry babes who had called me on my mobile phone or smsed me, i'd either reply briefly, never reply at all or reject my calls which will then divert to his mobile phone.
and i will be starting semester 2 in this kind of situation? oh dammit.
just so as you know, i am crying as i typed this.
where are you now?
ended your work shift already, but now eating with your swensen's colleagues before heading home ; which i don't know what time you'll make your move.
i swear i fcuking miss you. but i''m not making any move either.

i'm hurt okay.
can you bring out the hero in you and save me before i get drown into my own suicidal thoughts?